Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
