the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
