grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
