i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
