Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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