Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
