life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
