I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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