Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
