I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Shame - the story of my life.
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