I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
