ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
