he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize