Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize