Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
