it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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