I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
