I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
