We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
