"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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