so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
you never un-have a 4some
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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