I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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