I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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