Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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