It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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