Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
