So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
