You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
