Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
