Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
