Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
