currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
