Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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