next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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