Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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