i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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