I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
