dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
