I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
