Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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