I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
