i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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