i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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