Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
