when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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