It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
