He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
