pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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