I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
