it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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