you guys were way drunker than both of me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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