Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
