Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
