theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
well you can't waste a boner
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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