that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
