I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
