Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
