Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
