Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
