Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
