Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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