I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize