to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize