So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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